2. Al-Baqara

To illustrate the purpose of the matrimonial bond, the relationship between man and woman may be likened to that of a farmer and his field. This means that it is not just for selfish enjoyment that a couple takes the marriage vow. Just as a farmer’s task of planting his fields is a serious matter, so also is the husband/wife relationship a serious one. Various factors have to be taken into account, certain guidelines followed. The first thing to be taken into consideration when choosing a spouse is belief. The relationship between a husband and wife is an extremely delicate one, balanced precariously within a network of social, domestic and psychological factors. For such a close, intricate relationship to flourish there has to be harmony of belief. A Muslim who marries someone of another faith may have to compromise on his beliefs, in which case it will be his faith that suffers; and if he refuses to do so, it will be his marriage which will flounder. Secondly, a husband and his wife should consort and cohabit according to the pattern of creation. Just as revelation is an expression of God’s will, so is nature, for it follows divine commands to the letter. Natural laws are for us to follow, just as revealed laws are to be obeyed. And one should fear God at all times, always remembering that He knows a person’s inner and outer states, and that eventually one is going to be brought before Him.

Doing good works means acting with the Hereafter in mind. In the knowledge that there is an eternal side to life, which is more important than the temporal side, it is for eternity that we should strive. Should our actions on earth profit us in this life, but be harmful to our everlasting life, we shall have lived our lives in vain. What we do on earth will be judged after death. We should take care to ensure that our deeds measure up well on God’s scale of justice, for if they fail to do so, there is no way we can avoid His punishment.

Swayed by anger and obstinacy, sometimes an individual swears an oath that he will not do anything which would benefit a certain person. In ancient times, a variety of such oaths was very common among the Arabs. They swore oaths that they would refrain from such and such a good deed, so that when they were called upon to join in some good act, they would decline, saying that they had already taken an oath to the contrary. To refrain from good acts is in itself bad enough, but swearing to this in the name of God is much worse. For God is a being who is all merciful and all good. Then attaching the name of God to the non-performance of good works is sinful. Perversion at all events is bad. But if perverse acts are done in the name of God, there is a manifold increase in the evil perpetuated.

Swayed by anger and obstinacy, sometimes an individual swears an oath that he will not do anything which would benefit a certain person. In ancient times, a variety of such oaths was very common among the Arabs. They swore oaths that they would refrain from such and such a good deed, so that when they were called upon to join in some good act, they would decline, saying that they had already taken an oath to the contrary. To refrain from good acts is in itself bad enough, but swearing to this in the name of God is much worse. For God is a being who is all merciful and all good. Then attaching the name of God to the non-performance of good works is sinful. Perversion at all events is bad. But if perverse acts are done in the name of God, there is a manifold increase in the evil perpetuated.

There are certain people who keep swearing oaths inadvertently, out of sheer habit. This is quite wrong. A believer must refrain from doing so. However, between husband and wife, such thoughtless oaths have been held legally invalid, due to the delicacy of the marital relationship. But the case of solemn, intentional oaths is different. If a man intentionally swears by God that he will not go to his wife, this is taken seriously and then Islamic law will take its course. In the family system, both the man and the woman have duties as well as rights. Each of them must, as well as demanding his or her rights, honour the rights of others. That is, if we want others to fulfill their obligations to us, we must also fulfill obligations to them. If one misuses his power and advantageous position to act unjustly towards others, then he cannot save himself from God’s chastisement.

There are certain people who keep swearing oaths inadvertently, out of sheer habit. This is quite wrong. A believer must refrain from doing so. However, between husband and wife, such thoughtless oaths have been held legally invalid, due to the delicacy of the marital relationship. But the case of solemn, intentional oaths is different. If a man intentionally swears by God that he will not go to his wife, this is taken seriously and then Islamic law will take its course. In the family system, both the man and the woman have duties as well as rights. Each of them must, as well as demanding his or her rights, honour the rights of others. That is, if we want others to fulfill their obligations to us, we must also fulfill obligations to them. If one misuses his power and advantageous position to act unjustly towards others, then he cannot save himself from God’s chastisement.

There are certain people who keep swearing oaths inadvertently, out of sheer habit. This is quite wrong. A believer must refrain from doing so. However, between husband and wife, such thoughtless oaths have been held legally invalid, due to the delicacy of the marital relationship. But the case of solemn, intentional oaths is different. If a man intentionally swears by God that he will not go to his wife, this is taken seriously and then Islamic law will take its course. In the family system, both the man and the woman have duties as well as rights. Each of them must, as well as demanding his or her rights, honour the rights of others. That is, if we want others to fulfill their obligations to us, we must also fulfill obligations to them. If one misuses his power and advantageous position to act unjustly towards others, then he cannot save himself from God’s chastisement.

Divorce is an abnormal event which takes place in an abnormal situation. But, in this most emotional matter too, the Quran commands us to adhere to going in fear of God (taqwa), and to being both just and kind. From this we may gauge what kind of behaviour God desires from a believer in this life. We are commanded to break the marriage bond, if this has become unavoidable, in three stages and not all at once.

This course takes three months to finalize. The prescribing of a very seriously thought-out procedure in such an extremely emotional matter shows what the behaviour of a believer should be in cases of difference and discord. His behaviour with his opponent should be dispassionate, well-considered, and the result of patient decision-making rather than impulsive action resulting from some hasty or rash decision. Thus the procedure for divorce has an important lesson for life in general.