That, so that he may know that I did not betray him secretly.... But I do not acquit my own soul. Surely the soul commands to ugliness. When [the governor's wife] said, " That, so that he may know that I did not betray him secretly, " she saw the success-giving and protection of the Real. When she said, " I do not acquit my soul; surely the soul commands to ugliness, " she saw the shortcoming of her own service. The first clari- fies gratitude for God's success-giving, the second clarifies apology for shortcoming. The servant must always be passing back and forth between gratitude and apology. Whenever he looks at the Real, he should see blessings, take delight, and increase in gratitude. Whenever he looks at himself, he should see sin. He should burn and come forth in apology. Through the grati- tude, he becomes worthy of increase, and through the apology he becomes deserving of forgiveness. This is why the Pir of the Tariqah said, " O God, when I look at myself, I ask who is more miserable than I. When I look at You, I ask who is greater than I. " When my gaze falls on my own clay, I see nothing worse in the world. When I pass beyond my attributes, I look at myself from the Throne. Fuẓayl ʿIyāẓ was seen retired from the people and sitting in the corner of a mosque, having made the Real's remembrance his intimate friend. He had brought to hand the chevaliers' retreat with the Real, on the carpet of expansiveness in the tent of He is with you [57:4]. A friend arrived and saw him alone. He took seeing him as a blessing and sat before him. Fuẓayl said, " My brother, what has made you sit with me? " What has made you intrude upon me in this seclusion? Such detachment, that you attend to me! The dervish said, " Please excuse me. I did not know. I was unaware of your present moment and ec- stasy. Now tell me something about your present moment and speak of a fine point about your traveling so that I may not remain without a portion of companionship with you. " Fuẓayl said, " I will say what is fitting for you.
